Who are you, calling me awake this night?
I feel your unrest and turn my ear, but it’s my heart you want.
Go easy with your guide, willing, but untrained.
What is it that you need?
What ache, no angst, what?
The souls cry out to be remembered
not with candy, masks, and games,
but with reverence and tender hearts.
Bring memories to life
that those who’ve passed may live again,
to touch us on Samhain.
Leaving a trail, an apple here and there, scattered in the field, near the place where I wait. An invitation to this cautious creature. Sleek and magnificent, radiating power and mystery. Circle round me, catch my scent. Watch me from afar. I’ve laid no snares in the grass. No rope will claim and pull you, in submission to my will. I ask you to come freely, or come not at all. I invite you on this journey as my companion and my help. I offer you the same. Some days our chests will heave and hearts race, running at full gallop. Some days you’ll carry me, some days I’ll shelter you. We can not know how far we’ll go, nor how close we’ll grow, until we take that first step.
Until you’re ready then, I’ll sit and wait, watching you watch me, wondering if you’ll leave, or come a little closer.
The envelope is sealed, notice given, stamps applied.
Will I set my heart adrift, passed from hand, to bag, to plastic tote?
Will I let these strangers leave me naked at your door?
I’ve never been one to tape notes to the bathroom mirror; I had an ex who did. I often wondered what she got from the toothpaste splattered scraps that she couldn’t get from a clean mirror. Well, I suppose I’m not yet too old to learn something new.
A wrinkled yellow post-it, with two scribbled sentences, has chided me, calmed me, and nudged me, for several weeks. This one speaks today, “Nature does not fight against itself.”
After a fretful night and waking, my answer’s clearly reflected back at me, and settles in that knowing place. Truth finds its home in that same spring that keeps these words flowing out of me. I can no more deny my heart than I can my lungs. Oh trust me, I’ve tried and nearly lost myself in a slow and suffocating death. So, once again I open, let down the shields, and wait.
Am I a fool? Perhaps.I face toward the unknown and set foot upon this journey. Perhaps, I’ll learn a lesson about what energies I draw to my life. Perhaps, I’ll find a companion, whose well is as deep as my own. Perhaps, a passion lit from two flames.
What if dreams took form and space?
What if you could touch the shape of your wish?
Would you trust the connection of finger to hope?
What if you heard your solo echoed in the wind?
What if harmonies joined to become a duet?
Would you sing along?
What if another shadowed your dive?
What if you found you had wings to fly?
Would you try?
What if I offered you my hand?
Can you hear me love?
Your name just leapt
from my heart to my lips
There is no phone line here.
Can you hear me?
“I love you” breathed into the night.
Can you feel me?
My arms wrapped around you,
your head on my shoulder
My hand strokes your back;
warm whispers caress your ear.
Do you know me love?
Do you know that I am here?
Writing stirs the subconscious till things bubble up into now.
feelin’ kinda small today,
just a lost kid, on the edge of this porch.
I’d meant to ask her out here, to share a glass of tea,
to watch the sun circle down, around,
greet the stars and count them
‘til we ran out of toes.
Instead I sit here wondering, again
What’s wrong with me?
What makes me so unlikable, unworthy?
Now don’t I sound pathetic?
Time to get my focus back,
take my little girl by the hand,
and tell her it’s ok.
We’ve carved a life for ourselves,
this little girl and I.
We’ve found our strength and more,
the way to love ourselves.